Mulligan Please!

After looking at all of the pieces that I have written over the course of the quarter I came to the conclusion that they could all be revised in some fashion.  The one that really jumped out however, and really screamed fix me was the first timed write that we did.  The prompt for the assignment was to develop a thesis-driven discussion that demonstrates how the film(Bend it Like Beckham) defines what it is to be an outsider (using one or two characters from the film you chose and discussed) and how this definition upholds or challenges your own cultural understanding of what it means to be an outsider.  The challenge was that we were limited to one hour and did not know the prompt until the assignment was opened.  Needless to say, once I started, Murphy’s Law kicked in, and everything that could go wrong did.  My computer froze up when I started writing and it took me about five minutes to figure out how to get it back up and running.  When my computer froze up so did my brain.  All I could think to do was start writing to get some ideas out but I missed the boat.  The result was a panicked, paraphrasing of the movie that never really addressed the prompt.  I am thankful for the opportunity to revise this piece, and be given a second chance to show that I really did have a solid understanding of the themes of the movie, and how it related to identity.  In my revision, I was able to address the definition of an outsider, supported by the film, by stating, “In an act of defiance, which creates her place as an outsider, Jess follows her heart rather than her family’s wishes.”  I was also able to address how the film supported my understanding of what it means to be an outsider.  The first attempt at this assignment made me cringe when I read it prior to editing, but the revision allows me to sleep a little better at night.  The original is in italics and the revised essay follows in normal font.